Los Angeles Chapter — California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
Voices — September 2024
President's Message
Jennifer Stonefield, LMFTLA-CAMFT President
National Suicide Prevention Month
National Suicide Prevention Month, observed every September, is a crucial time dedicated to raising awareness about suicide, which remains a significant public health concern in the United States and globally. Throughout the month, mental health organizations, advocates, community leaders, and clinicians come together to educate the public about the warning signs of suicide and the importance of mental health care. Events such as seminars, workshops, and public service campaigns aim to reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness and encourage open conversations about mental health. The goal is to raise awareness and to ensure that those who are struggling know they are not alone, and that help is available. By fostering a supportive environment and spreading awareness, National Suicide Prevention Month seeks to save lives and promote mental wellness.
National Suicide Prevention Week, typically held during the second week of September, intensifies the focus on suicide prevention through a series of targeted activities and initiatives. This week serves as an opportunity for schools, workplaces, and community organizations to engage in proactive measures to prevent suicide. Activities may include mental health screenings, training sessions on recognizing and responding to signs of suicidal behavior, and community outreach programs. By concentrating efforts during this week, these initiatives aim to equip individuals with the knowledge and tools needed to support those at risk and to promote a culture of empathy and understanding. National Suicide Prevention Week underscores the idea that suicide prevention is a collective responsibility, and everyone can play a role in helping to save lives.
World Suicide Prevention Day, observed on September 10th, extends the reach of suicide prevention efforts to a global scale. Organized by the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) and endorsed by the World Health Organization (WHO), this day brings together people from around the world to focus on suicide prevention and mental health promotion. The theme for World Suicide Prevention Day changes annually, but the core message remains the same: suicide can be prevented through awareness, education, and support. Activities on this day often include international conferences, awareness campaigns, and social media initiatives that highlight the importance of mental health and the need for global action. By uniting efforts across borders, World Suicide Prevention Day aims to create a worldwide community dedicated to reducing the incidence of suicide and promoting mental well-being.
The observances of National Suicide Prevention Month, National Suicide Prevention Week, and World Suicide Prevention Day all emphasize the importance of personal strength and resilience in the face of mental health challenges. These initiatives highlight the power of individual and collective efforts in preventing suicide and supporting those who are struggling. Personal strength can be drawn from a variety of sources, including professional help, community support, and self-care practices.
Jennifer Stonefield, LMFT, is Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She’s always had a passion for psychology and going on the therapeutic journey with her clients reminds her of this every day. She has a wide array of clinical experience ranging from working with children in an educational setting to those suffering from dementia to individual work in several group, private practices where age holds no boundaries. She has an M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy. Jennifer applies a person-centered approach when working with clients, as she believes that a “one size fits all” approach simply won’t cut it.
Friday, September 20, 2024 9:00am-11:00am
Online Via Zoom
2 CE Credits
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): The Hope for a Diverse Population of Disorders
with Eve D. Walker, AMFT
This presentation is meant to enlighten, inspire, and prepare clinicians to include Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) methods and means in their practices. As an evidenced-based therapy that has been around for over thirty years, DBT has often falsely garnered a reputation for being too complex to implement. DBT was developed to support individuals challenged by chronic suicidality, intense emotions, and difficult social relationships. While this modality has long been considered the gold standard for treatment of borderline personality disorder, DBT has proven itself to be effective for a wide array of populations and issues. DBT offers accessible tools to clinicians working with clients who feel like they cannot bear emotional triggers and often get stuck in maladaptive behaviors and patterns. Not only can utilizing DBT provide patients with suicidal ideation (SI) a framework to envision a better life for themselves, DBT can provide a basis of validation and skills to transform the lives of many who have previously felt hopeless.
There will be opportunities during the presentation to ask questions of the presenter. We provide 2 CE Credits for attendance at this presentation.
Educational Goals:
This presentation will prepare participants to include Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) as a go-to therapy model in daily practice. At the end of this presentation, participants will be able to:
Eve D. Walker, AMFT currently works as a Psychiatric Counselor for Kaiser Permanente in Pasadena. Eve has an M.A. in Marital and Family Therapy from Alliant International University, an M.B.A. from Strayer University, a Bachelor of Business Administration focused on Human Resource Management from Strayer University, and a Certification in Data Analytics from Cornell University. Additionally, she is also a published author, certified Mindfulness Practitioner, possesses a certification in DBT, trained in IFS (Internal Family Systems), and is a teacher on America’s #1 meditation app, Insight Timer. When Eve is not working with patients, teaching, or speaking, she enjoys spending time with her husband, good friends and traveling around the world; however, is partial to Caribbean islands/countries.
For more information, contact Jenni J.V. Wilson.
Event Details:
For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, Students, & Related Professionals
When: Friday, September 20, 2024 from 9:00am-11:00am
8:30-9:00: Check-In 9:00: Meeting/Presentation Begins 11:00: Meeting/Presentation & Related Announcements End 11:00-11:30: Participant Announcements (optional)
If you are interested in expanding your professional networking, sign up for Participant Announcements when you register. This segment is from 11:00am-11:30am, and is an optional 1/2 hour after the presentation.
After the presentation we will provide you with a link to a simple online test and evaluation questionnaire. When the test questions and the evaluation are completed, you will be provided with an online CE Certificate that can be personalized with your name and license information and either printed or saved on your computer.
Where: Online Via Zoom (Your registration confirmation email will include the Zoom link and instructions for accessing the event. A reminder email will be sent prior to the event.)
Cost: $25 for LA-CAMFT MembersOther CAMFT Chapter Members CSCSW Members $15 for Prelicensed Members Other CAMFT Chapter Prelicensed Members $35 for Non-Members $20 for Prelicensed Non-Members
*Registration closes Thursday, September 19 at 10:00pm.*
(To be sure you receive any information we send prior to the event, please add networkingchair@lacamft.org to your known contacts or safe list and check your bulk, junk or promotions mailboxes for any emails from us about this event.)
Register online today! We look forward to seeing you on Zoom.
CAMFT Approved Continuing Education Provider 59450. This course meets the qualifications for 2 continuing education credits for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs as required by the California Association of Marriage Family Therapists. Participants will receive an evaluation form as part of the sign in/out form and must complete form at the conclusion of course in order to receive CE credit.
Refund policy: 48-hour notice required for refund of fee minus $5.00 administrative cost. Exceptions can be made for 48-hour notice in cases of emergency. Contact Jenni J.V. Wilson, LMFT, Course Organizer, at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.
Accommodations for Special Needs: Contact Jenni J.V. Wilson, LMFT, Course Organizer, at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.
Grievances: Program Administrator, Di Wilson, LMFT, manages all grievances—and will acknowledge, investigate and remedy grievances. Response to grievances will be made in writing within 30 days. Contact her at cfo@lacamft.org.
Editor's Note
Lynne Azpeitia, LMFTVoices Editor
Getting Paid: Introducing & Talking About Sliding Scale, Adjusted Pricing & Specialized Alternatives—The Words You Use Make a Difference
What’s your sliding scale? Do you have a sliding scale? How low is your sliding scale? What’s your discounted rate?
These words are often the first thing a therapist encounters when a potential client calls, emails, texts, or DMs about therapy. It’s no surprise that mental health professionals find this a jarring and highly awkward beginning to an interaction about starting therapy—and that therapists, themselves, have many questions, about the best way to respond effectively, both clinically and professionally, to these potential clients during this important first contact.
In fact, the most often asked question I encounter in Money Matters Workshops and at LA Practice Development Lunches is: “What’s the best way to respond when the first thing a caller—or a text, email or message—asks about is a discounted rate or sliding scale?”
As I wrote about in Talking about Sliding Scale Pricing, responding to callers and clients who are asking, but don’t really need or qualify for a lower therapy rate, is a very different type of conversation than the one clinicians trained for and are familiar with—people who genuinely have, a financial need.
Just because clients are anxious about the price or cost of services doesn’t necessarily mean therapists should automatically give a price accommodation. The price a client can afford and the price a client wants to pay may not always be the same thing.
It’s often hard for us as helping professionals to remember that helping a client doesn’t always have to mean giving everyone who asks a reduced rate or routinely offering the lowest possible price for therapy. It also can mean helping people find a lower priced type of treatment and referring them.
While I wholeheartedly support the values that the term “sliding scale” represents, that professionals can help people in need by sometimes—at their discretion and when their schedules allow it—charging less or making other specialized arrangements, so that people can still get affordable help when they need it, I also firmly support mental health professionals charging and being paid a fair price for the professional services they provide to clients.
As therapists, our task is to find the right balance of how, and how much, we can adjust session prices, for which clients, and how many—and not go out of business. In the current climate, navigating talking about prices with these clients takes more specialized skills and requires a totally different mindset, approach, and vocabulary.
The Wording You Use Can Make Difference in Your Income
As in any clinical endeavor, the words you use to describe your services do make a difference. Yes, the meaning our words convey can either increase or decrease the amount of money we earn and are paid for our professional services. You’ll find that more people will pay in full and out of their own pocket for your services, when they believe you are the professional who can give them what they want—and the wording you use to describe your services conveys that.
Money Talk: Words & Phrases to Consider Here are some examples of words that can make a difference in income when a clinician talks, writes, or communicates about therapy or money matters—and how and why these words can affect the perceived value, and subsequently, the amount a person is willing to pay for the therapy services provided as a clinician.
This information applies equally to face-to-face conversations in real time or virtually, to emails, texts, social media postings, and what’s printed in marketing materials or is on your website. Each one of these words and phrases can have a direct effect on the amount a client pays you for your clinical services.
As you read the following information, be sure to remember:
● Only do and say things that fit for you, your clients, and your practice—and always within legal and ethical guidelines.
● You can ignore everything written in this article and still be successful. Discover what works for you, your clients, and the practice setting you work in.
1. Pricing & Adjusted Pricing: Specialized Options Based on Income and Financial Need
When therapists talk about the price or hourly rate for services and clients ask about sliding scale or a discount or even the lowest amount that can be charged, that’s a good time for the therapist to talk about the price of therapy and options for those who need a price accommodation to pay for therapy sessions.
When therapists do make price accommodations for those in financial need, using words and phrases such as
adjust the price/amount/rate . . . adjusted price(s)/pricing/ amount(s)/rate(s) . . . adjusted cost of services /therapy/sessions . . . alternateprice(s)/amount(s)/rate(s) . . . special/specializedprice(s)/rate(s)/arrangement(s)/accommodation(s)
enable potential clients to understand that it’s okay to discuss a different price but that it’s not guaranteed to everyone upon request.
It’s also possible for a therapist to say that instead of a sliding scale, they offer different type of specialized pricing or rates for those with lower income or who are in need, when their schedule allows. Clinicians can do this by sharing the type they offer. Some examples are:
● College Student price/rate
● Teacher price/rate
● Unemployed price/rate
● Professional Courtesy price/rate
● Introductory price/rate
● Retired price/rate/pricing
● Limited time price/rate/arrangement
● Family & Friends price/ rate
● Cash Payment price/rate
2. Low Cost Options as Alternatives or Additions to Sliding Scale
If a therapist decides not to offer a sliding scale or wants additional choices to go along with a sliding scale or specialized rates, here are some of the options that mental health professionals in private practice are using to make therapy more affordable and accessible.
1. Pricing Based on Lower Income or Financial Need
● Adjusted cost/price/amount/rate for session(s)/ services/ therapy
● A set number or unlimited number of sessions or amount of time
2. Fixed Number of Lower Priced Client Spaces
● A certain number of places or a percentage of the practice
3. Shorter Session Length for Lower Price
● 40 or 45 minutes Instead of 50 or 60 minutes
4. Less Frequent Scheduling/Flexible Scheduling at Full Price
● Three sessions per month, every other week, etc.
5. Specialized Session Pricing
● A lower price is paid during slow periods of the day or week
6. Scholarships
● A lower session price
7. Payment Plan—for adjusted session prices
● Pay a set amount now and another amount when therapy ends until balance is clear
8. Special Arrangements Based on Special Circumstances
9. Pro Bono Sessions
● For 1 or two clients
These are just a few of the arrangements available for affordable therapy options. It’s up to each private practitioner to decide what will work best for their own practice, and clients, when their schedule permits.
3. Words & Phrases to Consider for Presenting Pricing & Adjusted Pricing
These days the term “sliding scale” seems to come with a lot of baggage for clinicians, clients, and those seeking therapy. For many lay people, the word “sliding scale” means: the price can slide all the way down to zero; the rate will, of course, upon request, always be adjusted to the lowest possible price regardless of the financial need or available resources of the asker; and therapists will always give a lower price to anyone who asks because it’s their job to take care of people’s needs.
An alternative to using “sliding scale” is to use more definite or declarative wording:
For those with a lower income or who demonstrate a financial need—and are eligible, pricing based on lower income . . . special arrangements . . . specialized price/prices/pricing . . . price accommodation(s) can be discussed/made. The adjusted price for a 50-minute session of therapy is . . . The charge for your therapy session is . . .
Here are three examples of what can be said when callers or clients ask about or mention a sliding scale, discount or reduction. These are meant to be tailored to what works for you, your practice, and clientele.
Example 1
1. There are A/1/2/3/couple/few places/spaces/openings when my schedule allows it
2. For clients who pay/receive/qualify for/ are in need of 3. An adjusted fee/alternate price /special rate/economy rate, etc.
and
4. Those are filled/there aren’t any openings/I can put you on the waiting list
or
Those are reserved for low income and those who have a financial hardship when possible/when available/ when my schedule allows
5. To qualify for those, you’ll need to submit proof of your household’s income—pay stubs/ tax return/bank statements etc.
Example 2
1. There are A/1/2/3/couple/few places/spaces/openings/slots when possible/when available/ when my schedule allows it 2. For clients who pay/receive/qualify for/ are in need of 3. An adjusted fee/alternate price / special rate/economy rate 4. You don’t seem to qualify for those. 5. We can talk about other options to be able to manage paying the session cost—less than weekly sessions/shorter length sessions/group therapy/family loan/ credit card payment/ 6. If you’re not able to work out paying the session price/If you don’t want to pay the session price 7. I can refer you to a low-cost counseling center, free clinic, training center, or counseling practice specializing in low income clients.
Example 3
1. If you’re not able to pay this session price 2. I don’t offer a sliding scale or adjust the price for a session 3. I can refer you to a low-cost counseling center, a training center, free clinic, or counseling practice specializing in low income clients.
By using this type of wording, the therapist will be conveying the message that the stated cost of services is the actual price and not just a negotiation starting point when no fee adjustment is realistically needed—but that some pricing accommodations are available to those in need of them. As a result, of making this wording change the clinician’s money conversations are usually shorter and the amount decided upon is usually higher but still what the client can afford.
Only Do What Fits You, Your Clients, and Your Therapy Services BestConfidently take charge of money conversations about prices by using any of aforementioned professional and clinical language recommendations that work with your client population and clinical practice. Focus on the value, cost, worth of the therapy service to the client and their life.
Remember to keep the language, wording, and focus of the clinical and professional money matters conversations on the client responsibility for payment for services needed, received and provided— not on what or how much the therapist gets or charges or how much the number is. Allow the client to pay a fair price for the therapy benefits they receive from you, the highly skilled and trained professional that you are.
See for yourself how the words you use can increase the amount of money you earn in your practice while still serving the community and keeping your services affordably priced.
The therapists I coach and train find that when they can set a session price that works for their practices and clients, they stop undercharging and reducing the price for every client but limit accommodations to a certain number of clients when their schedule allows it—and refer those who can’t or aren’t willing to pay the clinician’s set minimum amount—their practices fill (and stay full) and they earn more money while helping more clients.
I encourage more clinicians to consider taking the risk to do this—set the session price at a rate that represents the worth of the therapy and professional services they provide; have a set minimum that no adjusted pricing goes below (you can still have a pro bono client or two at your discretion); and refrain from adjusting session prices for every client who asks—it benefits both clients and therapists as well as the profession.
That’s enough about how to introduce and talk about sliding scale, adjusted pricing, and specialized alternatives. I hope the information presented about how the wording you use as a clinician to talk about sliding scale pricing can increase or decrease the amount of money you earn from your client work has been useful—and that you’ve found this article—and the others in the Getting Paid Series—to be supportive and encouraging of your efforts to be paid what the valuable therapy services you provide are worth in the professional marketplace.
Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented, and Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping professionals develop even more successful careers and practices. To learn more about her in-person and online services, workshops or monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunch visit www.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com.
LA-CAMFT Announcement
Mike Johnsen: Man of Mystery
Jenni J.V. Wilson, LMFT(LA-CAMFT Past President 2021)
I’ve come here today to say goodbye to our friend Mike Johnsen – Man of Mystery – Webmaster Mike, who passed away on July 11th, 2024 in Seattle, Washington.
Many folx have seen me with a mic in my hand loudly asking them to give it up to “Webmaster Mike!” at various LA-CAMFT events and gatherings over the years. This mythical creature, Webmaster Mike, seemed to be an elusive connection that only those in-the-know and with special clearance could access.
As legend goes, Mike was introduced to LA-CAMFT by Jonathan Flier about 10 years ago, and a couple of years later was hired to be our webmaster during Randi Gottlieb’s presidency. After that, to streamline processes, few LA-CAMFT leaders were permitted direct access to Mike – it was a privilege few were trusted with. In December 2020, as I prepared to take on the presidency myself in 2021, the gods shined down on me and I was, at last, permitted access to the legendary Webmaster Mike.
In our first conversation, Mike talked about growing up in the analogue world. He told me he had attended Janis Joplin’s first performance with Big Brother at the Avalon Ballroom on Catalina in 1966, and he saw Jimi Hendrix there, too, in 1968. He spoke of having what he called a “tech awakening” in the early ‘80s, wanting to know “how to make things work”. He noted that when he saw his peers struggling with the transition he didn’t want to get left behind. “It was worse then, than it is now”, he said.
Now, this newsletter is called “Voices” and that’s pretty much all I knew of Mike’s physical presence – his voice. He lived in a suburb of Seattle, so we corresponded by emails, texts, phone calls, and the occasional videochat – we never met in person. I can’t tell you how tall he was, or how he moved outside of a Zoom room; I can’t say if he smelled like soap or cigarettes. I can’t confidently tell you the color of his eyes beyond what I think they are from his contact avatar. Okay, I can’t tell you a lot of things – but I can tell you Mike loved and proudly looked after our chapter.
Mike credited LA-CAMFT with introducing him to the other CAMFT chapters he worked with as their IT/Web manager. He told me once that our chapter was the “most satisfying” and at times he would push other work aside to help us out (*blushes* sorry other chapters). I’ve wondered if he used flattery like that with all his clients, and hope that he did. I hope everyone he worked with felt as special to him as he made us feel. I do believe they did.
Mike was quick to express appreciation for those LA-CAMFT leaders who he believed put in a lot of heart, creativity, and time for LA-CAMFT. He was not an effusive person, but he could not say enough wonderful things about Lynne Azpeitia and Elizabeth Sterbenz, who often acted as representatives for him to the larger group when needed. He always talked about how much he loved working with the Diversity Committee, once gushing about how wonderful it was collaborating with Tina Cacho Sakai and Marvin Whistler. More recently, he shared how impressed he was with TOC Mentorship Chair and Board Member at Large Keonna Robinson and everything she was building. Mike also spoke highly of Communications Chair Lexi Berard and Membership Chair Annyce Torres, who just came on board this year and had to absorb a lot of information quickly. And as much as he cherished any of us, he cherished Gina Balit more, who worked the most closely with him for the longest amount of time and was his co-administrator.
Admittedly, I am probably not the best person to talk about Mike. Others in LA-CAMFT leadership knew him longer, and no doubt knew him better, but here I am rooted in my imposter syndrome, hoping to share a little bit of Mike with all of you.
I do believe Mike deeply valued his connection with me, too – and I valued mine with him. After my presidency, I never stopped liaising between board members and Mike, helping Mike onboard folx where and when needed. We corresponded often, exchanging stories about our lives and the things we were working on. He and I were both writers and we shared a painful understanding as sometimes suffering, but always recovering, perfectionists.
Mike’s drive for perfection was foundational to who he was. He was down-to-earth and did not suffer fools. He described himself to me as “a criticizer,” but in my experience with Mike, he continually demonstrated a flexibility and a willingness to tolerate the discomfort of new voices even when he pushed against change with his criticism. He was harder on himself than anyone else.
Regardless, I perceived Mike’s frustrations not as criticisms, but as reflections of how much he cared and protections against his fear that he would not be able to adapt and deliver – although he always did. Mike was an example of how the wise bamboo can bend. Mike was a wise bamboo.
And now LA-CAMFT leadership is being challenged to stay flexible navigating a Mike-less world. Now we are challenged to become more like wise bamboo, and bend to the reality that Mike is gone.
LA-CAMFT is grateful for Mike Johnsen’s many years of support, as our only employee and as the most actively consistent member of the team for almost ten years.
We will miss you, Webmaster Mike, man of mystery.
Paz y Amor, mi amigo. (*mic drop*)
Jenni J.V. Wilson, LMFT is a collaborative conversationalist, trained in narrative therapy and EMDR. She works with creative and anxious clients on improving, avoiding, and eliminating co-dependent and toxic relationships, while finding healthy ways to be unapologetically themselves. She is the primary therapist at Conclusions Treatment Center IOP in Mission Hills, and has a private practice in Sherman Oaks.
Guest Article
Navigating Mental Health As A Trans & Non Binary Person
Van Ethan Levy, LMFT, LPCC
In my and my clients’ experience navigating mental health as a trans person, it is unfortunately near impossible to find a mental health professional who creates an affirming environment for therapy.
The tone set as early as the mental health professional’s (MHP’s) publicity and intake paperwork is already one of exclusion.
For instance, rarely do intake forms have spaces for pronouns to be listed, or when they do this is sometimes requested as “preferred pronouns.” Typically a form asks for “Gender” or “Sex,” sometimes with only the binary possibilities of “male” or “female” listed, sometimes with an option of “other” (who wants to be described as “other”?), sometimes with the options “trans male” and “trans female,” as if people who are trans are not “real” males or females.
These examples are all transphobic micro-/macroaggressions. One’s “gender” does not communicate one’s pronouns, and neither does the way a person presents. Instead, MHPs can put a blank for pronouns, and then only use the pronouns listed, not what they decide the client’s pronouns are.
MHPs can also think about why they need to ask the client’s gender. And rather than using “name” to refer to “legally assigned name” and “preferred name” to refer to the name the person uses, if it is necessary for MHPs to know information for insurance purposes, for example, the MHP can ask for “legally assigned name” and “legally assigned gender,” in addition to client’s name.
When people in my community contact MHPs and are met with terms such as “ma’am/sir/Mr./Miss/Ms./Mrs.,” this signals that the MHP’s general awareness is firmly within assumptions about gender and the gender binary and that the space is not safe.
When this is pointed out to them, MPHs may become defensive, due to:
1. Cis fragility: Derived from race fragility, this is when someone is resistant/ defensive when hearing experiences that differ from those of the person’s own gender. Cis refers to when someone’s identity aligns with the gender that the person was assigned at birth. An example would be when a person points out that what the MHP said was harmful and the MHP argues that the person was being too sensitive or that the MHP is an expert because of (insert degree, education, identity, etc.).
2. Internalized transphobia: Thoughts and assumptions we all have inside of which we may not aware. These are due to societal constructs, i.e. beliefs that have been constructed by society (e.g. a societal construct in the US is that skirts are for girls/women, while in Scotland what may look to us like skirts are in fact kilts that are for men). Examples of relevant societal constructs are saying things like, “the person was (insert gender) and is now and/or wants to be (insert gender), and the person appears/presents as (insert gender).”
Such responses are transphobic, and extremely harmful to the trans community (non-binary, non conforming, and many more identities). It is vital for MHPs to address consistently and constantly their internalize transphobia, even if they do not believe they have it and/or will work with someone who is trans. For all MHPs know, they may be working with a client who is not cis, and it may not have been safe enough for the person to come out/ share their identity with the MHP.
As the MHP self-educates through training/articles/blogs by people who are part of the community the MHP is learning about, it is equally vital to remember that a client’s experience is more important than the MHP’s perception and/or what the MHP has learned elsewhere. We are not a copy and paste; just because someone has learned one thing about someone who holds an identity does not mean it applies to everyone who holds the same and/or similar identity. Trans/nonbinary/nonconforming and many more identities that one holds does not make us all the same, just like all womxn/men are not the same. If we ask 100 womxn what it means to be a woman, we will get 100 different responses.
I will close by describing two parts of my identity to shed light on some of these concepts. I am trans and what this means to me is that doctors assigned my identity as female at birth because of their internalized transphobia that women have vaginas and men have penises. Therefore, my identity does not align with the one that was violently forced upon me.
I am also non-binary, and to me, my non-binary identity means that in order to be my authentic self I chose to show up as me and not fall into the societal constructs of what it means to be man/woman but rather who I am.
This can be hard to conceptualize because of our internalized transphobia and learned societal constructs. As a result, the world has not seen and still does not see me for who I am. If you are interested in unlearning internalized harmful messages/behaviors and learning to create supportive and affirming ways of engagement, please consider buying my interactive workbook Exploring My Identity(ies) or contacting me for my training on deconstructing gender.
Van Ethan Levy, MA, LMFT, LPCC, (they) (elle), a trans and non binary therapist, is a queer, non binary, trans, socialized as female, nBPOC (not Black Person of Color), who is autistic, and has dynamic disabilities amongst many more historically excluded identities. Van provides consultations and trainings on trans and non binary identities, is the organizer of the 2022 Virtual International Do Something: Identity(ies) Conference, authored the interactive book, Exploring My Identity(ies), and produced the Documentary, Do Something: Trans & Non Binary Identities, Website: VanEthanLevy.com
Black Therapist Support Group
Second Monday of Every Month
Next Meeting: Monday, September 9, 2024 6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT)
A safe place for healing, connection, support and building community. In this group, licensed clinicians, associates and students can come together and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of African descent encounter in the field of mental health. As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.” May this space, be the support needed to facilitate that journey.
Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members
First Saturday of this Month Location: Zoom Meeting
For more information contact the Diversity Committee, diversitycommittee@lacamft.org.
For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students
Event Details: Monday, September 9, 2024, 6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT) Time of Check-In: 5:50 am
Where: Online Via Zoom Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.
Cost: No Charge
Online Registration CLOSES on the date of the event. (Registration is open and available until the group ends.)
Questions about Registration? Contact Stara Shakti, LMFT at DiversityCommittee@lacamft.org.
How to Repel the People You Don’t Want!
Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert
"Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?” -Marilyn Monroe
I got into trouble at a networking meeting.
At networking meetings, each person is given an opportunity to do a thirty-second commercial or “round robin” on their business. This is your chance to advertise the benefits of the products or services you provide to others. It is important that you represent yourself in an interesting way—say or do something that stands out or makes you special. You can’t educate the audience or explain everything you do in thirty seconds—you just have to pique the audience’s interest so that they want to talk to you later. The money isn’t at the meeting. The money is in the follow-up. I learned to do round robins at Women’s Referral Service (WRS), a great group in Southern California. People there got into the spirit of fun and let their personality show. Here are a few examples of memorable phrases people used: “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. And who did he immediately call? The law offices of Rhoda Walsh.” -Rhoda Walsh, Personal Injury Attorney “Hair today, gone tomorrow.” -Rita Katzman, Electrologist “A machine that makes money can be legal – just call Evelyn Siegel!” Evelyn does Merchant Credit Card Processing Since I have a background in musical comedy, and now speak and teach workshops on making money, I thought I’d begin mine with a bit of song: “You’re going to be rich tomorrow!” I’d warble from the musical Annie. Then I’d say, “if you take my class today.
I’m Chellie Campbell and I treat money disorders – spending bulimia and income anorexia. My 8-week Financial Stress Reduction Workshop comes with a money back guarantee that you will be better off financially at the end of it. I’m also the author of The Wealthy Spirit and Zero to Zillionaire, so if you’re living on peanut butter and jelly, and would like to afford deli, call Chellie!” Fun, huh? I thought so. It’s upbeat and funny, and I usually get great responses from it. But then I went to the networking breakfast for the attorneys put on by the State Bar Association… They had NOT been taught the FUN way of doing their round robins. Each person stood up in turn and said basically the same thing, “Good morning, I’m John Smith, I’m a business attorney, I’ve been practicing for 23 years, and my office is on Ventura Blvd.” The next one said, “Hello, I’m Jane Smith, I’m a family law attorney, I’ve been practicing for 17 years and my office is on Wilshire Blvd…” You get the picture. Very basic, very businesslike, very boring. It was a snore-fest, people.
I began to get concerned. They obviously had a format, and everyone was sticking to it. As it got closer and closer to my turn, I had a moment of panic and thought, “Maybe I shouldn’t sing in this room?” But then I caught myself and said, “Nah. I gotta be me. Maybe there will be only one or two people who get me, but they’ll be great. And if they don’t like it, oh well. I don’t ever have to come back here.” So I sang my little bit and the response was electric! Some people were laughing and smiling and nodding their heads. Others were frowning and looking outraged. Haha. Several people came over to talk with me after the meeting and we happily exchanged cards. The next month, I went back to the group for their next meeting. As I walked through the door, a woman came running over to me and said, “I have to talk with you.” “Sure,” I said, “what’s up?” “There were complaints about you at the board meeting!” she exclaimed. “Oh, dear, whatever for?” I asked. “It was felt that singing was inappropriate behavior at a business meeting,” she replied. “Oh, that,” I said laughing. “Well, I have to tell you that 10 people came up to me afterwards and got my card, and seven of them signed up for my workshop. So I made about $17,000 from that little song, and I’m going to keep singing!” Poor dear. She had no idea what to do next. It had never occurred to her that I would do anything but say, “Oh, I’m so sorry! It will never happen again!” like a good girl. She didn’t know I had climbed out of the “Good Girl Box” years ago. When my turn came, I sang out loud and proud. As I looked around me, I could see some people laughing and enjoying it. And I could see clearly who was on the board that complained – what sour expressions they wore! I went to several more meetings and the response was the same: some people loved me, and some people hated me. That’s perfect, you understand. You want to attract the people you want and repel the people you don’t want!
The people who were angry about what I was doing, that I was “outside the box” of their conservative, blue suit, button-down, rules, are “Not My People”. They aren’t really going to like me even if I try to fit into their box. I’d be inauthentic and they would be able to tell. “My People” love me for my quirkiness, my humor, and my gold sneakers! They’re the only people whose opinions I care about. You can’t appeal to everyone – if you try you’ll be so bland that you won’t appeal to anyone. Have the courage to stand out on your own terms, in your own way, and you will shine a beacon that will draw “Your People” to you. Quirky rocks!
Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook—with participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com.
Therapists of Color Support Group
Now Meets Every Quarter
Next Meeting: Sunday, October 13, 2024 11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT)
A safe place to receive peer support and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, racist injury, aggression, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of color encounter in the field of mental health.
Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members Meets every quarter Location: Zoom Meeting
Event Details: Sunday, October 13, 2024, 11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT) Time of Check-In: 10:50 am
Online Registration CLOSES on the day of the event.
In diversity there is beauty and there is strength.
Maya Angelou
Member Article
5 Ways to Preserve Quality Time with Your Kids After Divorce
Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT
Divorce is never easy, especially when kids are involved. The challenges of maintaining a meaningful relationship with your children post-divorce can feel insurmountable. Imagine this: Sarah, a mother of two, finds herself in a new home with a custody schedule that leaves her feeling disconnected from her kids. She notices the emotional gap growing wider with each passing day. The story could be different, and there’s a way to make it better.
The Problem: Divorce introduces numerous challenges that can impact the quality time you spend with your kids.
Logistical Issues: Shared custody schedules often disrupt the daily routine and reduce spontaneous, quality moments with your children. Research shows that children in joint custody arrangements often feel stressed due to frequent transitions between homes.
Financial Strain: The economic impact of divorce can limit the resources available for family activities.
Emotional Turmoil: Parents often experience feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and fear of losing their bond with their children. This emotional struggle can make it hard to be fully present during the time they do have together.
Stress and Anxiety: Constant worries about the future, co-parenting conflicts, and legal battles can leave parents emotionally drained, affecting their interactions with their kids.
Unfairness to the Children: It feels fundamentally wrong that children should suffer the most because of a situation beyond their control. They deserve a stable, loving environment, and it’s unfair that divorce often robs them of this.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. There is a different path.
As Steven Unruh, a divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience, I’ve seen countless families navigate the rocky terrain of post-divorce life. I care deeply about helping parents maintain a strong, loving connection with their children. Here’s how you can preserve quality time and build a healthy relationship post-divorce.
1. Prioritize Consistent Routines
Establishing a consistent routine helps children feel secure and know what to expect, which is crucial during times of change. Regular meal times, bedtime rituals, and weekly activities can provide stability.
2. Communicate Effectively
Open and honest communication is key. Let your kids express their feelings and reassure them that both parents are there for them. Tools like family meetings or shared journals can facilitate this process.
3. Be Fully Present
Quality time isn’t just about being physically present. Put away distractions like phones and work, and engage in activities that your children enjoy. Whether it’s playing a game, reading together, or just talking, make those moments count.
4. Plan Special Activities
Despite financial constraints, planning special, low-cost activities can make a big difference. Simple outings like picnics, hikes, or movie nights at home can create lasting memories. Research from the Journal of Marriage and Family highlights that meaningful, shared activities can strengthen family bonds.
5. Use Technology Wisely
When physical presence isn’t possible, leverage technology. Video calls, messaging apps, and online games can help maintain the connection. A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that children benefit from regular virtual contact with non-custodial parents.
What’s Next?
Some might feel that these strategies are too simplistic or that their situation is too complex for such solutions. However, every little step towards maintaining a connection with your children can have a profound impact. It’s about making the effort, consistently and compassionately.
Divorce doesn’t have to mean the end of quality time with your kids. With commitment and the right strategies, you can build a strong, loving relationship that endures the challenges of post-divorce life. If you’re struggling to navigate this journey, I’m here to help. As an experienced divorce mediator, I can guide you through creating a plan that works for your family.
Take the first step towards preserving your precious bond with your children. Contact me today for a consultation, and let’s work together to ensure your children feel loved and secure, now and in the future.
Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com.
White Therapists Fighting Racism LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee Affinity Group Third Sunday of Every Month
Next Meeting: Sunday, September 15, 2024 3:00 pm-5:00 pm (PT)
White Therapists Fighting Racism
The goal of White Therapists Fighting Racism (WTFR) is for white-identified therapists to become effective allies in support of decolonization and racial justice in our clinical practice, therapy association, and community. Recognizing that racism is maintained when whiteness is invisible to white people, White Therapists Fighting Racism provides a forum for white-identified therapists to explore what it means to be white. While this process includes learning about structural racism and deconstructing the false narrative about race, a primary focus in the group is on doing inner work. To learn more, click on the Diversity Committee page.
Event Details: Sunday, September 15, 2024, 3:00 pm-5:00 pm (PT)
To join this group, go to https://lacamft.formstack.com/forms/wtfr_member_questionnaire.
For more information contact Randi Gottlieb at rgottliebmft@gmail.com.
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